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Haircut
Part 2 of 2
16 AUG 08
I
have been to 3 types of barbers and everyone of them are special
in their own little hair snipping ways. Honestly,
even though sometimes I did got some haircut that was not of my
liking, the Abang barbers are still the top choice for me. And
I do believe that its the top choice for most males in Singapore.
I guess its pretty hassle free. You go in, read some Berita Harian,
wait for them to point you to a seat, say "Pendek aje lah
bang," and they start snipping. And usually these abang barbers
are pretty friendly, so if you are in a chatty mood, you can always
start a conversation with them. From trigonometry to quantum physics,
no subject is taboo with these guys! But if eavesdrop is your
thing, then you might want to open your ears and listen to the
conversation they engage among themselves... that is if you know
Malay. Usually it will be some soccer-related stuff or barber
shop politics like: |
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"Hey
Mat, you always come late. You think your father shop ah?! "
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So
apart from the barber jargon that I have mentioned before in part
one, everything else is peachy:)
There
was this time I remembered walking at Serangoon Road heading to
a center which belonged to this man named Mustafa. Singapore heat
was at its all time high and my hair was getting frizzy and out
of control so I went in the nearest barbershop I can find. Everything
is pretty much the same. The Indian uncle cut my hair as expected.
But like always, I can’t tell if the haircut is looking
good cause I can’t see shit without my glasses.
But
in the middle of the haircut something bizarre happened. The uncle
caressed me on my shoulders and started to knead it. <<
Wait. That sounds wrong. What I mean to say is that the uncle,
grabbed my shoulders and gave me a masculine, non-sexual massage.
I was in the state of shock because I didn’t know that they
give free massages on top of a haircut! What a bargain!
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But
honestly, I did feel violated because he didn’t give me
any warnings as he was rubbing my virgin shoulders. I mean,
I barely know the man. He doesn’t even know my name. But
as his fingers kept molding my back and together with
the Hindi movie blaring at the background, you can’t help
but get into the mood. Suddenly, your eyes relax and you give
yourself in. You trust him that he will treat you right... mmmm
Just when I thought everything couldn’t get any more kinky,
he grabbed my head and twist it ninja style. My neck gave a
loud crack! I was about to jump out of the chair and poke his
eyes with a Gillette razor blade but I stopped short because
my neck felt great! By the time, the haircut is done, my knees
was like jelly.
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The
Korean barber I went to was when I was in LA. I wanted to go
to the nearest barber where I was staying but the crowd was
kinda "unfriendly". I mean this IS Los Angeles. You
gotta watch back when you are here man. The Korean barber does
not know a word of English so I was trying to figure out how
I can translate "Pendek aje lah bang" in Korean but
after a couple of hand gestures, shadow puppet presentation
and mooing sounds, the Korean barber manage to figure out what
I want.
Different
from them Abang barbers and massaging Indian uncle, this guy
wrapped my neck with toilet paper and covered me up tight with
a plastic sheet. All his barber tools are displayed in total
order. I almost thought that I was going for surgery.
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cutting process is the same like everybody else. Once done, the
barber called a Korean lady to clean me up as he tended to another
customer. Since he had prepped me up good, not a strand of hair
was left on my clothes. Now that is the way of a true Korean samurai.
After I paid, the whole staff shouted goodbye as I walked out of
the store. Now that was an experience! To
end this tales of the 3 barbers, I would just to mention that
the one customer that all barbers HATE is the one that chats on
his handphone in the middle of a haircut. That is a grave sin
in barberland.
Buzz!
Buzz!
Evil Bunny! |
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 "I
know
this is not my father's shop... but this is my MOTHER'S shop so
I can come anytime I want lah!"
"I'm sorry sir." |
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