my
boyfriend and i watched enjit2 semut together and we really enjoyed
it very much so we'd like to say thanks for making our day that
day. oh and we also read the article on jesc part 2 and my boyfriend
was wondering, how do you define 'mats' or do you generally called
malay guys 'mats'. haa. you see, he wants to avoid becoming a 'mat'
or even a 'mat rep'? he said he just wanna be normal, getting respect
from other races and all. haa. i don't know what's going on in his
head but even if he does become a mat to me, i still love him no
matter what.
so are you gonna answer
him or not? (:
oh as you can see,
the subject says it all! i am a fan of your art works. even my
boyfriend too!
yours
sincerely,
maria
This
email came sometime back and I have always been planning to answer
it. It was just sitting there and I know one day I have to reply.
Hmm to Mat, or NOT to Mat, that is indeed THE question.
I can
relate to this because I was there too. Even though I am Malay,
I do not have the basic characteristics that you would expect
from a Malay guy. I look Malay, there’s no doubt about that,
but I lack the soccer and guitar skills and I don’t hang
out under void decks EVER. I do pass by and visit my other Malay
friends and just have a short 3 min chat and after that I’m
off into the unknown doing what I gotta do.
Soccer
Now this is practically a curse from the very beginning. The last
time I played soccer was when they were lack of players during
the secondary’s school Sports Day. It was practically a
jogging game because I would never get the ball passed to me.
Hahaha. Heck, I will not pass the ball to me too! Cause the chances
of scoring an own goal was practically much there.
Even
playing friendly-match goalie was a challenged. I remembered I
caught a simple catch from the opponent who tried to score.. I
tried to imitate what I saw on TV. I leaned forward and grab the
ball. But just when I thought the ball was safe in my hands, by
some unknown force of physics even Einstein couldn’t decipher,
the ball went staight on between my legs and thus a goal was scored.
If that was an important soccer competition, I would have been
crucified by my teammates.
The
ball went underneath the tunnel and through my legs...
This
girl, on the other hand, posess some serious soccer skills.
Check out 00:56.. Just plain madness.
Playing
sepak takraw was worse. I can barely bounce the ball on my foot.
I cannot recall how many times I have to retrieve the takraw ball
under parked cars because I kicked it too hard. Oh well maybe,
my circle of friends may be the reason why. When I was a kid my
childhood best friend was a Chinese boy and we did not play soccer.
We made gigantic bubbles and conduct science experiments. I’ll
share that story some other time. And in secondary school, we
played more basketball than soccer.
Another issue of
being unMat-like besides lack of control on balls is this habit
of conversing in English. I was behind the lingo the Malays
used and it was hard to talk to the minahs. So minahs find me
a turn off. I even tried to go on a blind date once and the
criteria I chose was “I want to get to know English teacher
types please.” It’s true. Hey, you can’t blame
me, most of my friends are Chinese, I get to know more Malay
friends only after I hit National Service. I can’t stand
Malay programs and I watched Seinfeld, Friends and the Simpsons
instead.
So, like your boyfriend,
I shun being labelled a Mat. I don’t do what Mats do so
I’m not a Mat right?
Don't
you just love local Malay programmes?
The
Change
Then after a while, I had a chance to go overseas to work for
some advertising company. I will not name the actual country
but it was some far off remote ang moh country. All you see
is white people. I speak English ALL the time. Then I realized
that I was missing home, I missed being Malay. I can’t
speak Malay to anybody here and they can’t even relate
to local jokes. I told my Mum to buy Malay Rock CDs… I
listened to it almost everyday when I was going to work, riding
on the bus. If you are not a fan of Malay Rock songs, you don’t
know what you are missing.
These Malaysians Mats are one talented bunch and you gotta listen
to Ella, she sings of lost love and.. erm lots of love issues
but it rocked. Currently I’m listening to UKAYS “DISANA
MENANTI DISINI MENUNGGU” Which means in English, “
She’s waiting for me there, another is waiting for me
here.” Trust a song-writing Mat to be able to capture
the heart of 2 minahs!
I
was craving Malay food and I would kill for a nasi lemak. Fortunately,
my co-worker drove me all the way down south to eat at some
Malay restaurant. The portion was pathetic but at least I got
a taste of rendang. My taste buds was celebrating as if it was
Mardi Gras! Even my ang moh co-worker can appreciate the Malay
delicacies “At first it’s just okay then the spice
hits you” That’s how he describe it.
When I was abroad, I tried cooking sambal but it turned out to
be disasterous. The whole room reeked of chilli and my neighbours
complained of the smell.
Oh
well, my point is I have later comes to term that even though
I don’t know how to play soccer, or strum the guitar and
make love songs like our Malaysians counterpart, I was still definitely
a Mat. A different kinda Mat but still a Mat. Mat is not a derogatory
word and I had a few occasions on some racist shouting,”You
are a Mat.” He was expecting me to get a heart attack or
be bent out of shape but I thank him for stating the obvious.
Smurf
Mat
To have a better picture I compare Mats to Care Bears or Smurfs.
You have Papa Smurf, Lazy Smurf, Faggot Smurf, Smurfette, and
that annoying glasses wearing smurf. So like Mats, we have the
void deck Mat, the ambitious-I’m-gonna rule-the-world-MAT,
the low-expectation Mat, the soccer Mat, the lawyer with an
office Mat etc. So what kind of Mat is your boyfriend? I’m
the making-cartoons-pray-to-God-its-gonna-work-someday Mat.
So tell your boyfriend to quit it and to stop the denying the
Matness in him. Embrace the Mat and the Mat shall embrace you.
I don’t even know what that means.
Even
Smurfette cannot resist the charm from the Mat Smurf.
A
very Matish article you can never get anywhere else,
Evil Bunny!
